Love in the Time of Corona

It helps to know that I’m not alone — that I and millions of others are also navigating online dating during the pandemic.

The pandemic has created a kind of loneliness epidemic. We’re all stuck in our houses and because of masks, we rarely even get to see the genuine smile of a stranger anymore.

I’m starting to realize how much I took for granted and how important it is to feel part of a community, and actually interact with that community.

I’m a homebody. At the beginning of March 2020, I thought this social isolation gig would be a dream, but even I’ve been feeling extremely disconnected.

So in my search to just feel something, I downloaded the dating app, Hinge.

Now here I am, grasping at digital conversation with male strangers, hoping to experience something meaningful.

I haven’t had too much luck so far in the meaningful department. I’m questioning what substance this app has added to my life, besides maybe some entertainment.

It’s strange. Most of the people you match with, you never exchange a word with. It’s just a subtle nod that we both think the other is sufficiently attractive.

Though being complimented is appreciated, I’m looking for something more.

But while I continue my search for valuable human connection, allow me to humor you with some of the best (or worst) Hinge conversations I’ve had.

• We were talking about music, of course. What else is there to talk about when you know next to nothing about a person. I mentioned Miley Cyrus — an eclectic icon. He said, and I quote, “Oh God no.” I stopped responding. Next day… Him: “All it took was Miley Cyrus?” Yes, Adam. All it took was Miley Cyrus.

• “Sutton my face.” Presumably a play on words using my first name for “Sit on my face?” Either way, no.

• I may have developed a bad habit of trying to find the random people I match with on social media, using the very limited information I have on them. Maybe it’s the wannabe CIA agent in me. But sometimes it can be super telling as to what kind of people these men are. Hey Trish, your fiancé Luke who you got engaged to in late October in Asheville is on dating apps and probably, most likely, definitely cheating on you. Dump him.

• “Tell your father I’m willing to trade seven of my highest quality cows in exchange for your hand in marriage.” Hell no, Ryan. My counteroffer is eight cows and a five-acre parcel of land for wheat. Know your worth, ladies.

• “Are you pro or anti-olive?” This actually isn’t as weird as it sounds. I have a prompt on my profile that’s “Let’s debate this topic: olives.” So my account receives a lot of olive related content. Another olive-themed conversation starter included “I think olive you.” Bold move. For the record, I’m pro-olive.

Anyways, the search continues…