The Family Motto That Crushes Spirits

A motto encapsulates the core beliefs of an institution, or in this case, a family.

It helps guide one’s words, thoughts and actions.

A lot of the time they’re uplifting. The classic, “Rise and Shine” or Nike’s “Just Do It” are great examples of positive mottos.

The Cavalchire motto isn’t not positive — it encourages hard work and dedication which are both positive things, it just does it in a different way.

WHO WANTS TO BE SECOND BEST?

That’s the family motto.

It was coined by the Cavalchire matriarch — my mother, Rebecca. And it was repeated to me probably everyday growing up, especially in middle school and high school. However, it even continues into today.

I recall excitedly running downstairs to my mom coming home from work to tell her about my 98 on an IB Biology test — I had only gotten a portion of one short answer question wrong.

But what I heard back was the dreaded, “Who wants to be second best?” It radiates the same energy as Ricky Bobby‘s “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”

Of course, she wasn’t completely serious. Obviously she was proud of my high grade. Whenever she said the motto in situations like these, it was always in a joking manner.

But there was room for improvement and I could’ve done better. You can always do better.

The motto essentially means to always shoot for perfection and strive for excellence.

No judgement on Mama Cavalchire, but maybe this isn’t the ideal pressure to put on children. It’s a lot. No one can ever be first in everything.

Although it never fell too heavy on me. Our family says it so often and in so many contexts that it was never seen as a stringent expectation to always be the best.

You were able to get up and make yourself an ice water even though you have a raging headache. You go, girl. Who wants to be second best?

You were able to snag the last turkey at the grocery store before Thanksgiving? That’s right. Who wants to be second best?

The motto has turned more into a running joke in the Cavalchire Clan, with maybe just a little hidden truth (Because don’t get it twisted, we do still want to be better than everyone).

I’ll be honest, maybe the repeated use of “Who wants to be second best?” wouldn’t have worked out quite as well with other kids. But for my sister and I, it was the encouragement and push we needed to do all that we could to succeed.

I think this motto is genuinely where I got most of my confidence.

So don’t worry, mom, my spirit isn’t actually crushed.

Never as a child or as an adult have I not felt the pride my parents feel for me and all my accomplishments. They’re constantly celebrating me.

But get this.

In high school, I graduated as the Salutatorian.

L i t e r a l l y — second best.

Yeah, I’ll never live that one down in my family…